Consecrating Ourselves in Our Marriage

Treat your spouse with the same respect

and good manners

that you would

your boss or an acquaintance!

Gottman’s Recipe 
for Resolving Conflict

1.   Soften your startup

2.  Learn to make and receive repair attempts

3.  Soothe yourself and each other

4.  Compromise

5.       Be tolerant of each others faults

 “Discussions invariably end 
on the same note they begin”
(Gottman, 1999).

By being gentle, 
we can have meaningful conversations and find solutions to problems!

How I approach my husband and begin our conversation
makes all the difference in the world! 

"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it up until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by" (Howard, 2003). 

When I get frustrated with my honey, I have to calm back down, so I can love him better.

Some of Gottman’s Self-Soothing Techniques

     Sit in a comfortable chair or lie on your back on the floor.

  Focus on controlling your breathing. 
Focus on taking deep, regular breaths.

   Tighten, hold for two seconds, and then release tension in one muscle groups one at a time to promote relaxation.

    Let tension flow out of each muscle group.

Use guided imagery to focus and calm down.

I am a fan of guided imagery and I am trying to learn how to deep breathe properly to provide a multitude of physical and emotional health benefits. 

I am so excited, we have been having a weekly date 
ever since September!

This coming weekend, I have a very special, Surprise date night planned for my husband and I! He has Absolutely NO idea where we will be going, but I have told him to have a bag packed, because as soon as he gets off work, we will be on an Adventure! 

Am I willing to give away all of my petty grievances in my marriage to know God? (Alma 22:18).

Until I am ready to “give away all my sins” by giving up my petty grievances in my marriage, I am not ready to truly know the Savior. 

He is waiting for me to come unto Him. 

Am I ready to overlook and to forgive in a charitable fashion? 

My heart is softening more and more each day! I will continue to strive to put off the "natural criticizing woman" in me and look to the eternal potential in my good husband. 

I am ready to fully live the law of consecration in my marriage.

Gottman, J. M. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York, NY: Random House. 
Howard, F. Burton, "Eternal Marriage", General Conference April 2003.